Why should I try so hard?

If only I was dumb since the beginning. If only I didn't care about grades. If only I made things simpler for myself. I'd then have a happier life story to tell.

I am who I am because of you.

Every once in a while, we find ourselves saying something along the lines of..."screw what others think of me. I am unaffected by their judgments". But how true is that line that we oh-so-often turn to when in desperate need to raise own's pride? To me, it's nothing more than a pathetic line of denial... Denial to accept the fact that what the others are saying are actually, and dauntingly, accurate. Afterall, I strongly believe in the concept that we are all the product of what others say of us.

Our lives are all just like puzzle pieces in a huge thing called social institution. Our piece of puzzle only fits if accompanied by neighbouring pieces. Thus, at the end of the day, metaphorically speaking, our piece fits where it fits, angled how it's angled, and coloured the way it's coloured, simply because the neighbouring pieces tells us to...

Lately, all my weaknesses as a person has intensified... Because weakness is a key focus to those around me. They picked on my flaws, and dominated my consciousness. By tomorrow, I will be the most destroyed version of myself.